


Dirty Limericks

by Venivincere



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 22:33:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2790125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Venivincere/pseuds/Venivincere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There once was a dirty old fangirl.... Snape/Harry dirty limericks, mostly rated NC-17 and rather funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirty Limericks

**Author's Note:**

> Some words in French: tapis de vol = flying carpet.
> 
> Originally various postings at my LJ and archived at Skyehawke here: http://archive.skyehawke.com/story.php?no=1293 on March 11, 2004.

Title: Untitled Limerick  
Rating: R  
Pairing: Harry/Snape  
Warnings: Some words in French; Snape and Harry on vacation in Paris. Please pardon the bit of forced rhyme in the couplet.  
  
  
They fucked at Les Folies Bergere,  
They fucked at L'Ecole Militaire.  
Were it not for the rule  
Against tapis de vol,  
They'd be fucking 'round Paris, mid-air!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Title: Untitled Limerick  
Rating: R  
Pairing: Harry/Snape  
Warnings: Spanking reference  
  
  
Masturbation might make him go blind,  
So he thought hard, and made up his mind  
To act up in Snape's class,  
Get detention (alas!)  
And get spanked on his naked behind.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Title: Untitled Limerick  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: Harry/Snape  
Warnings: Slight scat reference  
  
  
When Harry and Severus fuck,  
The house-elves are down on their luck.  
They make such a mess  
That the house-elves confess  
They draw straws to see who cleans the muck!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Title: Untitled Limerick  
Rating: PG-13  
Pairing: Harry/Snape  
Warnings: None  
  
  
Says young Harry, "It's perfectly sound  
To assume that Snape's ass-cheeks are round."  
"What, you looked?!" (Surprised gapes)  
"Heavens no! I saw Snape's  
Fitted pants in the school's Lost and Found!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Title: Untitled Limerick  
Rating: R  
Pairing: Harry/Snape  
Warnings: None  
  
  
Poor Harry was tied to the chair  
And, awake now, was coming aware  
Of Snape fisting his cock,  
And he heard (with some shock!)  
"You'll stay pinned till I come in your hair!"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Title: Fuck Me Quick!  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: Harry/Snape  
Warnings: None that I can think of.  
  
  
After Quidditch, Snape leapt on his prick  
With an arsehole pre-greased, and quite slick.  
Complained Harry, "No bath?"  
"Mr. Potter, my wrath  
And impatience are high. Fuck me quick!"


End file.
